Thursday, June 18, 2015

Filling the Void

My mother-in-law passed away last week.  Pat was an amazing person and was so good to me.  


When Pat and my father-in-law, Jim, married, he was serving in the United States Navy.  So Pat raised six children while Jim was away much of the time on submarine duty.  They were stationed in Phoenix, Arizona, Virginia Beach, Virginia, and Charleston, South Carolina. When Jim retired from the Navy, they moved back home to Louisiana. 

 Pat was a black belt in karate, a skill that always intrigued me.  I mean, how do you become a black belt when you've got six little kids running around the house?  Or do you become a black belt to fend off the six little kids running around your house?  In any case, she opened a dojo in our little hometown.  Most people had no idea what that was; a "do-what"?!  But soon she had lots of little kids (as if she needed more in her life) running around kicking and chopping.  

She also worked as a reporter for the local newspaper. She covered all the high school football games.  I was in the marching band at the time and can remember Pat down on the sideline with her camera and note pad. She had to interview me for an article the summer of my senior year and I was so nervous because I was hoping her oldest son would ask me out and I really wanted her endorsement. I guess I got it.  

She opened a restaurant called Quay's Place.  All the pizzas and sandwiches were named after family members.  James and I were dating during this time and would work there on the weekends because we were hungry college students and she paid us in food.

Later in life, Pat decided to go to college.  She got her undergraduate and master's degree from Northwestern.  She taught high school English and English literature as an adjunct professor. She was a writer and left us with many poems as well journals filled with her talent.

Pat loved to travel and visited England many times.  She took some of her grand children with her to expose them to history and other cultures.

Pat was a "wide open" person.  She was wide open to every opportunity life sent her way and what an interesting life they afforded her. 

She loved and accepted everyone with wide open arms and a wide open heart.  It was not unusual to go over to their house and find that one of the kid's friends had moved in to live for "a while".  I would look questioningly at Pat and she would just say, "They need a little help right now".  As if feeding six kids wasn't enough of a daily chore, there were always a few extra of their friends in the kitchen. I should know, I was one of them! When James and I married, I became child #7, not in-law #1.  She thought of me as one of her own and always treated me accordingly.  

When someone dies a void is left in the world.  Those of us who remain must fill that void by making sure the deceased's special qualities continue.  At Pat's passing we must pick up the batons of wide open love, wide open acceptance, and a wide open willingness to attempt all of life's opportunities. Then we must run with those batons in her memory. 





Love ya'll,
Shelli

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well used brings happy death.
 ~Leonardo da Vinci

2 comments:

Jamie said...

This is beautiful! I had forgotten all about Quay's Place! Great lessons for all of us!

Unknown said...

What a beautiful tribute to Pat!