Let's Smile (The Men)

Today, let's smile with these quotes from some famous men:

Winston Churchill:

A young man after seeing Churchill leave the bathroom without washing his hands: "At Eton they taught us to wash our hands after using the toilet." Churchill: "At Harrow they taught us not to piss on our hands."

Bessie Braddock: "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill: "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.

Churchill: "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?" Socialite: "My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course... "
Churchill: "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?"
Socialite: "Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!" Churchill: "Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price."

Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."
Churchill: "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."

Oscar Wilde:

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.
              
Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.
               
P.J. O'Rourke:

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

W. C. Fields:

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

 

Ambrose Bierce:

 

The covers of this book are too far apart.

 

SAINT, n. A dead sinner revised and edited.

 

LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.

 

George Bernard Shaw:

 

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech

 

Dancing: The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music

 

Mark Twain:

 

Classic- a book which people praise and don't read.

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any, but that wrongs the jackass.

If you can't sleep, try lying on the end of the bed. Then you might drop off.

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it won't be allowed.

Will Rogers:

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
.

A fool and his money are soon elected.
 

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

 

***Tomorrow, the women!

 

                                             Love ya'll, Shelli