But for you he serves as the truthometer, keeping my desire to "gild the lily" in check. This is important for today's blog about varmints. Varmint stories must be truthful!
What is a varmint? Well, the dictionary (the real one, not James) says it is a chiefly Southern term for an irritating or obnoxious animal or person.
We live on Turkey Creek road. In my blog I would love to call our place Turkey Creek Farms, but the truthometer won't let me since we live in a subdivision. We only have two acres and no animals so I guess that really doesn't qualify as a farm. I asked the truthometer if I could call our place Turkey Creek Garden. He suggested Turkey Creek Yard, completely not understanding my need to call it anything, but said he could live with Turkey Creek Garden since we really have one - a garden.
So now.....
We have a lot of varmints here at Turkey Creek Garden. The deer are a constant pain in the........neck. When we first moved here from Lafayette I was so excited to be back in a small town and away from traffic that I put a salt lick out to draw in the deer! We hadn't started the garden yet and I thought the deer were so pretty. Be careful what you wish for!!!It took me a solid year of using Liquid Fence to train them away my garden.
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| Sunflower patch before deer...... |
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| .....after deer!! |
Armadillos start rooting around in the late summer when it gets dry in the woods. One year an armadillo dug a tunnel way up under our garage. I stuck a shovel down in the hole to see how deep it was and couldn't find the bottom! Now we put out moth balls to keep them away.
Ella and I made a fairy garden in the summer of 2012 but I let it go to weed, so I planned to revive it this weekend. When I grabbed the little house to remove it, a huge swarm of wasps flew out!!!! A HUGE swarm!! A herd! A coven!!!! I screamed (wanted to curse, but Moses was watching me), ran, and hoped for the best. James came running. There was a cloud of wasps swarming the back corner of the garden! No one got stung; it was a miracle. After a good soaking with Raid, the fairy house was restored to its garden spot and I saved the wasp nest because I've been seeing them in antique stores selling for $8....seriously!!
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| Wasp garden |
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| Fairy garden |
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| $8.00 |
Another Turkey Creek Garden varmint is a red tailed hawk. He is so comfortable at our house that he often perches on the porch furniture while waiting to pick off some of our sweet birds from the feeders. The fact that he doesn't go after the squirrels when they're at the feeders is just more proof that life isn't fair.
But my best varmint story is about these guys....
Two long, really long king snakes. Now I know that a king snake is a "good" snake, but when you've got a snake in your hand the notion of "good" snake "bad" snake doesn't enter your mind!!!
I had been gardening all day. It was almost dark, but I had just a little more fertilizer to spread under the roses and I was determined to finish before nightfall. I reached behind the bush grabbing a big handful of pine straw to move out of the way and suddenly felt whatever I had in my hand vibrate like a live wire. I let go, fell back, and released a stream of curse words (Moses hadn't come to live in the garden yet) as a snake uncoiled and quickly slithered away. I later read that king snakes will coil up and vibrate in an effort to imitate poisonous snakes. All I know is I had GRABBED A SNAKE!! This is a true story; just ask the truthometer!!! I bought a long handled, narrow little rake that I now use to move pine straw.
So those are my Turkey Creek Garden varmint stories. However, the truthometer insists that I come clean and admit that until writing this post I thought "varmints" were "varmits". I bet "varmit" is a Sabine parish variation of the word! :)
Love ya'll, Shelli
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