The Phases of Retirement

     Last week I received my back-to-school letter from the Lincoln Parish School Board telling me when to report to school.  I guess they haven't taken the retired teachers off of the personnel rosters yet. I read it and then threw it away, happy that I wasn't going to be reporting back this year, and yet......

      I started this blog because I retired, but I haven't really written about retirement. If you Google retirement, you will find articles about finance and insurance, but what about the emotional aspect.  Maybe I am the only person alive who has struggled with this change, but I think not. It has taken me most of the summer to come to grips with the idea of retirement and I have gone through some definite phases along the way; some expected and some very unexpected.....

     When May ended, James and I immediately hit the road for Thomas' graduation, a little road trip, and Memorial Day kayaking. Then there was a week of sleeping late, working in the garden, cooking, and watching movies.  All of this while enjoying a feeling of release!!!  Release from deadlines and pressures; no more papers to grade, tests to update, Moodle, or lesson plans. Common Core wouldn't exist in my new world of retirement. These were all things of the past. Ahhhh.......

     But then I read an article online about the roads melting in Yellowstone National Park and thought how much my students would enjoy that article when we were studying volcanoes this year!  But wait, I wouldn't be teaching volcanoes or anything else this year. No students, no experiments, no colleagues, no fun.  These were all things of the past.....

     Hence started a period of depression.  I was hit with the realization that I was entering the final stage of life, the retired years.  Now I know they are going to be great years and that the world is my oyster and all that, but that doesn't mean they aren't the last phase of life.  With this realization came a flood of doubt and regret.  Have I done enough with my life so far; how should I use the rest of my life. Where do I start? I needed to sign up for as many volunteer organizations, college courses, exercise classes, and clubs as I could! Quick!!!! Anxiety attack!!! I was overwhelmed by an unexpected urgency to have it all figured out RIGHT NOW!!!!!!  I needed a BIG, BOLD, IMPORTANT RETIREMENT!!!!!

     And then I went home for our family's summer get together.  They had planned a retirement party and while we were celebrating, I took a good look around and realized that I was missing the point of retirement by worrying about grandiose plans. I didn't need to bring peace to the Middle East or solve world hunger.  I didn't need to run for mayor, paint a masterpiece, or write a book.  I needed to be a good wife, mom, sister, aunt, and daughter.  I needed to meditate every day and be healthy. I needed to be more active at church and nurture friendships.

     Retirement is a luxury; the luxury to slow down and focus on the small, simple things in life again. I have always tried to be mindful of the simple, but important things such as family, friends, and faith, but often they unintentionally got pushed to the back burner as my job took precedence.  Now is the time to restructure my priorities and if God has other plans for me, He'll let me know.  I don't have to figure it all out, He already has.

                 So now I am in a phase of slow, peacefulness; the best phase of retirement!

Love ya'll,

Shelli

  "You can only have bliss if you don’t chase it."

~Henepola Gunaratana (Bhante G)