The
following day….
Somewhere
in Hell….
“OK, let’s
get started with today’s meeting. Yesterday it was announced that our patient,
Shelli Quayhagen (SQ), has agreed to put her garden on the Master Gardener Tour
later this spring. We are all very excited by this opportunity to wreak havoc
in her life. Yesterday each of you was told to take responsibility for one of
her vices and devise a plan of attack. Let’s start with Anxiety....”
“Good morning! Well,
first off, Insecurity and I have decided to work together. We can deliver
a potent one-two punch. For instance, Insecurity will plant the idea that
SQ’s garden isn’t going to measure up to Master Gardener standards, then for
weeks I will wake her up in the wee hours of the morning filled with abject fear
over the upcoming tour. After insomnia takes its toll, we will make sure she
looks at multitudes of beautiful gardens on Pinterest exacerbating the idea
that her garden isn’t good enough and she is a total idiot for agreeing to be
on the tour. Next, we’ll make sure she sees commercials for the new Royal
Blizzards at Dairy Queen causing her to try to eat away her anxiety. If we play
our cards right she could gain approximately 50 lbs. before the tour. In the end we will render her an overweight, inept gardener paralyzed by fear in an oasis of
shriveled, insect-ridden kale and tomatoes with blossom end rot.”
“Well done,
Insecurity
and Anxiety!”
Somewhere
in Heaven…
“Let’s
open with prayer.
‘Lord, we come to you with heavy hearts.
One of our lambs has put herself into a situation where she is going to easily
fall prey to her human vices. Help us protect her from herself as well as from
our ever-present enemy who takes advantage of every opportunity to bring us
down. We thank you for your determined love for this poor soul.
Amen.’
OK, so
yesterday each of you chose one of SQ’s vices to counteract during this garden
tour crisis. Let’s hear from Peace first.”
“Good
Morning, I’m Peace. I was a yoga
instructor when I was living on Earth, so I am very excited to have this opportunity
to calm and refocus SQ in her fight against insecurity and anxiety. I did some research
on her last night and was happy to see that she participated in the Armor of God Bible study this fall. I
will begin by creating a need in her to reread the chapter
entitled The Shoes of Peace, especially
the following passage:
‘Of all the things
the enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy in your life, peace is almost
always at or near the top of his list. He intentionally stirs up discord,
division, disruption, and disturbance, both within you and around you….He wants
you uneasy, unbalanced, filled with anxiety, worry, and turmoil. Lacking peace.’
This should give her insight. Then I will remind her that the same Bible study taught her that
‘thankfulness activates peace’. As she remembers to be thankful for her garden (no matter what condition it's in) she will become peaceful about sharing it on the tour. Also thankfulness and peace
will establish a barrier to the enemy.
Then,
since it’s always good to have scripture to wield in the war against the enemy,
I’ll have her stumble across Philippians 4: 6-7 again…
Do not be anxious
about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with
thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which
transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
Finally,
I am going to throw a few important events into SQ’s life this spring that will
keep this little garden tour in perspective – the birth of their first
grandchild, a niece’s play production, and a college graduation. Being out of town for these events will help her realize that obsessing over her garden is futile, and
force her into a more relaxed, peaceful attitude.”
“Well
done, Peace! OK, that’s enough for
today. Peace be with you…”
“and also
with you!”
;-)
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