A few weeks ago in our Sunday School lesson, there were some phrases that stuck with me. The author of our lessons, J. Ellsworth Kalas, related that the apostles "found it easier to believe their doubts and fears" than to remember what Christ had told them. He went on to say, "Unfortunately, most of us, like the disciples, are held captive by the things we expect to happen to the point that we close our minds to any contrary evidence."
These phrases made me wonder how often I worry about what I expect to happen rather than have faith in what God has working in my life and in the lives of those I love and care for. How easily do I cling to my doubts and fears? I needed to hear more, so I contacted Brother Lassiter and asked if he would expound on this subject in a guest blog post. He graciously agreed and I am thrilled to share his wise and experienced thoughts with you!
Shelli asked me to deal with ways to
fight life, darkness, doubt and somehow hang onto your faith. You know there
are volumes written on that right? But fools rush in and so do I. Here's a
summary of where I think I'm headed:
1 – Recognize you will always find trouble in life. Everyone
does.
2 – It's okay to get upset and want to rebel. Bible heroes did.
3 – Remember what He has carried you through thus far.
4 – Find a safe person who will keep their mouth shut and talk about it .
5 – Take a look at some of the resources I will suggest.
2 – It's okay to get upset and want to rebel. Bible heroes did.
3 – Remember what He has carried you through thus far.
4 – Find a safe person who will keep their mouth shut and talk about it .
5 – Take a look at some of the resources I will suggest.
Life
is difficult.
But as soon as we accept that
difficulty, life is no longer as difficult.
We keep expecting to turn a corner
and find peace, but it's more like we fled from a lion only to meet a bear. For
those who are into sports, there's always another game and another season. For
most wives there's always another meal to cook, clothes to wash, and beds to
make. Life throws up one problem
or difficulty after another. We all
know “This wasn't supposed to happen to ME” feeling. Sorry friend, but yeah –
something of the sort happens to everybody. And when you accept that only
occasionally do you get to call time out and float in peace on a calm lake,
life gets better.
I have just quoted, paraphrased, and
amplified the first two pagers of The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck. It's an
older book, but I strongly recommend it, especially the first two pages that
are worth the price of the book. (You may even be able to read those pages free
on Amazon by clicking on the book picture and arrow that says “Look Inside.”)
It's
OK to argue with God.
Yes, I know you have been taught
otherwise. But the great saints of the faith are recorded arguing with the Lord
to the point of sarcasm.
Moses – In Exodus 3 God comes to the
shepherd in a burning bush, sounding excited about liberating his people. Moses
threw up excuse after excuse which the Lord kept swatting down. Finally Moses
sarcastically pointed out that he was a stutterer and that hadn't changed since
God started speaking to him fifteen minutes ago. God did start to sound peeved,
but He didn't throw Moses away. He continued to work with him and created a
great leader and deliverer.
Elijah – After that great prophet
called down fire from heaven and executed all the prophets of Baal, he
announced the coming of rain. But Queen Jezebel owned those prophets and
sent Elijah a telegram to get out of town by sundown or his head would roll.
This formerly bold prophet broke and ran for his life, not stopping until he
fell exhausted. When God caught up with him and asked what he was doing there,
he POUTED! “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I'm going to go eat worms.”
Well, not really, but it might as well have been. “I've been faithful to you and
done all you called me to do, now I'm the only one left, and they're trying to
kill me.” Note that God did not chide him or discard him. He gave him food and
let him rest. Then He gave Elijah a fresh experience of Himself and a fresh
vision of his calling.
Job – If you've read the book, you
recognize that the “patience of Job” is not true. It's a New Testament
translation in the KJV that would be better expressed by the word
“endurance.” He did endure and persevere, but he wasn't patient about it. He
screamed at God repeaedly. Why did this happen to me? Show me my sin if I'm
being punished for something. Kill me, and get me out of this misery. Vindicate
me to my accusers and show them I'm innocent. The reader knows this was a test,
but Job and his accusers never did. Indeed, the book was probably written to
show that bad things do happen to good people. One explanation – the test –
disproves the whole system that bad fortune was always payment for sin. But Job
yells at God, begs Him, and doesn't let go until the Lord reveals Himself.
Note: All three of these guys argued
with God and did not like their situation at all. Therefore we can argue with
that same God and pour out before Him our complaints at what life is bringing
us. No fear He will reject us. Rather dumping that emotion can free our minds
to hear His direction.
Turning to a more positive
direction, let's take a look at Paul in 2 Corinthians 11:
23 Are they servants of Christ? (I
am out of my mind to talk like this.) I am more. I have worked much harder,
been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to
death again and again. 24 Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes
minus one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with
stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open
sea, 26 I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers,
in danger from bandits, in danger from my fellow Jews, in danger from Gentiles;
in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in
danger from false believers. 27 I have labored and toiled and have often gone
without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food;
I have been cold and naked. 28 Besides everything else, I face daily the
pressure of my concern for all the churches.
When I read this, I wonder why I am
griping. But often we do hurt, so what do we do about it? Remember Paul has
also been through almost unendurable circumstances. Let's look at some of how
he handled it in Philippians 4:
...for I have learned to be content
whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what
it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and
every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in
want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Note Paul says “I have learned...”
He learned. How did he learn? Look back at 2 Corinthians 11. I wonder how many
times Paul doubted and wondered whether he was in the right place. Did you see
the sleepless nights and sometimes lack of food? From where he stood years
later (probably under house arrest in Rome, or maybe in Ephesus). He now looks
back and sees that God brought him through, so Paul can now say he is ready for
anything in Christ.
We like to quote “I can do all
things through Christ who strengthens me.” We quote it as a positive in
tackling a task. It was written more for your situation as you hurt. It is as
if Paul said, “I have learned the hard way that I can get through anything as
long as I hang onto Christ.”
Paul fought his way through all this
triumphantly, as have thousands of others. And so can you. If thousands of
others have fought through trial and come out in triumph, so can you. It may
take awhile, and you may feel as if you got through by the skin of your teeth,
but you will get through.
Remember
what you have already come through.
What have you already come through?
You are close to an impossibility in your conception and birth. There is no one
else like you. You are a miracle. You made it into this world at birth, and
have come through multiple sicknesses, allergies, falls, and perhaps surgeries.
You got through schools, got married, had kids. You have lost family and
friends along the way. And you're still going. How many times along the way has
God helped you and carried you through?
Remembering all of that as Paul did can
call forth your faith. God has been with you all your life. Why would He stop
now?
Share
you experiences with someone.
I love the following that I have
seen ascribed to several different people.
O the comfort, the inexpressible
comfort
of feeling safe with a person,
having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words,
but pouring them all out
wheat and chaff together,
certain that a faithful hand will sift them,
keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness
blow the rest away.
of feeling safe with a person,
having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words,
but pouring them all out
wheat and chaff together,
certain that a faithful hand will sift them,
keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness
blow the rest away.
This means choosing the right
person, sometimes a trained professional counselor. Many times it means talking
to a close friend who can keep their mouth shut. Someone you feel safe with –
and are safe. Talking it out can break up the viciously spiraling thoughts
spinning through your head. Instead of whirling around in one continuous
circle, over time your emotions begin to back down and your thoughts open out
to new ways of dealing with life. The feeling of acceptance and companionship
can lessen the pain and replace it with love.
Seek further resources:
Dorothy Sayers wrote a remarkable book called Creed or Chaos. In it she points out that if God is indeed guilty of allowing our troubles, “he at least had the courage to take his own medicine.” She meant He allowed His Son Jesus to die on the cross. Even before that, Jesus lived a complete human life in a third world country occupied by foreigners. Almost certainly his father Joseph died, and it's likely he lost other siblings in the typical family until the day of modern medicine of the last hundred years.
Many turn to this verse, Romans 8:28
for assurance.
And we know that in all things God
works for the good of those who love him, who have been
called according to his purpose.
Footnotes:
a. Romans 8:28 Or that all things work together for good to those who love God, who; or that in all things God works together with those who love him to bring about what is good—with those who I include the note, because the Greek is ambiguous, and the last choice is my preferred choice. Paul is not saying that everything that happens is good. Obviously that's not true. It's obviously not true that everything always turns out for the best. For example, the world would be much better had the Holocaust never happened, had Hitler and Stalin and Sadam Hussein never risen to power. But Paul does say that nothing so bad can happen that God cannot re-shape it by His creative power for Good to emerge = good as defined by God.
The supreme example is the Cross. By Christian theology no
sin can be greater than the Crucifixion, killing the Son of God. Essentially,
saying God, get out of my life. I don't want you messing with me. I'd rather
kill you than obey you = or even let you love and forgive me.
But God took that sin and transformed it through the resurrection into the greatest act in history – the salvation of the entire world! If God can do that, He can deal with my life and yours. He can take those tragedies, and over time transform them into many good things.
But God took that sin and transformed it through the resurrection into the greatest act in history – the salvation of the entire world! If God can do that, He can deal with my life and yours. He can take those tragedies, and over time transform them into many good things.
Read a column by a young nun based
in Philadelphia, Colleen Gibson. She is writing about her experiences during
Holy Week and along the way makes these observations that seem to me to fit in
here:
“Faith is what we carry with us through the darkness; it burns brightly when we cannot see.” (For full article , go to http://perigraphs.blogspot.com/)
“Faith is what we carry with us through the darkness; it burns brightly when we cannot see.” (For full article , go to http://perigraphs.blogspot.com/)
Scott Peck – The Road Less Traveled – First two
pages, especially. An excellent book with an emphasis on personal discipline. A
great life guidpost.
Granger Westberg – Good Grief – a basic work, reprinted in 2010 on its 50th anniversary. It's that good.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross – On Grief and Grieving – Her first book, On Death and Dying became a classic.
A Facebook friend, whose family I used to pastor made a comment about a loss in her community. Read
it at http://perigraphs.blogspot.com/
My blog on Counseling for Laity is
intended for those lay folk that people talk to, but you may find help in the
chapter on Grief. You will need to scroll down til you find it. I have begun
work on changing it to an ebook, but until then:
http://aplj234.blogspot.com/
http://aplj234.blogspot.com/
Remember...
FAITH
IS OF NO VALUE WHEN YOU FEEL SECURE.
Put your hand in the hand of the Man from
Galilee.
Perry
Lassiter
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