Polly and Sherry were doing a group project in their classes. The children in each group pulled their desks close together so that they touched, forming a solid tabletop on which to work. All the groups were working along when suddenly the studious buzz of the classroom was broken by the cry of a female student in Anthony's group. Polly looked up from the group she was helping just in time to see Anthony poking Macy with his ruler under their desks. Macy started crying and Anthony was laughing.
"What happened!?" Polly asked.
"Mrs. Babineaux, Anthony's pokin' Macy with his ruler!" another member of the group offered.
"Did not!" yelled Anthony.
"Yes, you did! We all saw you!!" the students chimed in.
Polly took Macy over to the side of the room out of earshot of the other students to calm her down and gently question her.
"Macy, I need to know exactly what happened" Polly said.
"Anthony kept botherin' me. He said I was doin' my part wrong. Then he started pokin' me with his ruler under the desk. He thought no one could see."
Then Polly pulled Anthony over privately and talked with him. "Anthony, tell me exactly what happened."
"Nothin'...nothin' happened! They're just makin' it up. I didn't do nothin'."
"Anthony, when I looked over at your group I saw you poking Macy with your ruler."
"No you didn't 'cause it was under the table!"
"Oh, so something was going on under the table?"
"Nothin'...you just don't like me!!"
Polly had been dealing with Anthony's bad behavior and harassment of students for most of the first grading period. That coupled with his penchant for denial (i.e. lying) was going to make for a very long year, so after careful questioning of the group and being satisfied that she had the full story, Polly set up a school building level committee conference for the following day.
This is where I come into the story. I had left the classroom to work in an administrative capacity. Dealing with discipline and mediating parent/committee meetings was part of my job.
Proving the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Anthony's mom had a reputation for denial too. We all braced ourselves for what we knew would be a difficult encounter.
The following morning, before going into the conference room, the school secretary squirted Polly, Sherry, and me with Holy Water she kept in a spray bottle for difficult occasions just as this. Anthony's mom arrived and after we were all seated around the conference table, the meeting began.
Polly started by explaining exactly what happened; carefully describing the group activity the students were working on, the sudden yelp from Macy, witnessing Anthony poking Macy with his ruler, and the eyewitness accounts from the other students. I added that this was not the first time we had dealt with Anthony harrassing students in his class. Sherry, who also taught Anthony, added supportive nods and comments.
When we had finished presenting our case, we held our breath saying silent prayers about what was to come....
Anthony's mom replied, "None of what ya'll said could have happened!"
With the most neutral tone of voice I could manage I asked, "Why not?"
"Because if those kids had their desks arranged like you said, Anthony couldn't have reached under the desks to get his ruler on her and no one could have seen what happened under there, so it didn't happen."
Silence.......
"Well, ma'am", I said, "the teacher saw Anthony bring his hand holding the ruler from under the desk, Macy said that he poked her with it, and the other students backed her up. I think we can assume that the desks were not in his way." I felt a like a lawyer using circumstancial evidence and eye witness accounts to prove my case.
"Unless the teacher saw the ruler touch that girl's leg, then ya'll can't prove my boy did nothing! We ain't takin' no punishment either!!" countered Anthony's mom, my opposing counsel.
Once again Polly repeated the circumstances surrounding the incident. I revisited some of Anthony's prior acts from earlier this year and tried to emphasize the importance of teaching children to be accountable for their actions.
It all fell on deaf ears. We were getting nowhere fast!
Now Polly and I had been doing most of the talking, while Sherry had been giving moral support, but I knew Sherry and she didn't have much patience for parents who were in denial about their children's bad behavior. I could tell that she was coming to the end of what patience she had........
Suddenly, Sherry reached into the supply carousel located in the middle of the conference table, pulled out a ruler, put it under the table and poked Anthony's mom with it!!!! Anthony's mom let out a surprised yelp!!
Sherry said, " Mrs. Quayhagen, what just happened?"
With eyes as wide as saucers and visions of lawsuits dancing in my head, I carefully answered, "I think you just poked Anthony's mom with a ruler under the table."
"Are you sure", asked Sherry, "because you didn't see the ruler touch her leg?"
Case closed.......Perry Mason would have been proud!
Amazingly, the rest of the conference went very well. Once Anthony's mom realized she had no recourse, she became quite subdued and cooperative. Our conference actually ended on a positive note. Anthony missed a few lunch recesses and I would like to believe that mother and son learned a great lesson about owning up to your behavior and accepting the consequences!
"Intelligence plus character-that is the real goal of education" Martin Luther King
Love ya'll, Shelli
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